Hopes and wishes

I have my own little take on new years resolutions.  That is I don’t make them.  I can’t remember who I heard say it, but ‘it’ was: “Don’t make resolutions, just make changes”.  Sometimes I am successful in this, othertimes not, and sometimes they end up being mere (and subsequently broken) resolutions despite my antithesis!

So, on to my original point, the changes that I have made since last year when I was regularly blogging.  I have successfully managed to commit time to playing my clarinet and sax, and the lessons have become a weekly bit of time out which I really look forward to.  I can switch off from work/other work/study stresses and have a whole hour just thinking about music without anything encroaching or feeling that I ought to be doing a million other things.

One change I am trying to make a firmer fixture is getting into running regularly.  Had a good start a fortnight ago; I decided I would run every other day.  In that first week I did run 3 times and really enjoyed it.  Last week was a bit of a hiccup caused by the Monday Bug striking us down and to be honest the rest of the week got written off by the time I had returned to work on Thursday!  This week fell foul of my all too usual lack of organisation and planning and doing other things which pushed out running time, so I have not run at all.  Will begin again.  Onwards and upwards.

My biggest change though needs to be a mindset one rather than an actual.  I end up feeling guilty for doing stuff that I enjoy (like the music, or sitting and watching a film, or doing craft stuff, or getting into the big outdoors for a walk) which is crazy!  But it snares me all the time cos I feel like I OUGHT to be getting other stuff done.  By stuff I mean general crap like the chores, etc.  Mad.  It’s not like I am a dosser – I work 40+ hours a week, so I need to figure out how to enjoy my time off without guilt.

Impending doom

I hate that feeling before work, when you really don’t want to have to go.  It’s not that I don’t like my job – far from it actually:  I make my own rota at the moment (and shall for a few months more as am enjoying the “monday-to-friday-and-no-nights” which I have created!) and am fulfilling the majority of my working hours in the place I like best.  I have a twilight tonight.  Just the one.  Then am off until Monday again.  I suppose it is just having been off all day and pottering around having a lovely time, I struggle to muster up enthusiasm for working until 3am!

Could be worse.  Could be a whole night shift.  I am going to have to get used to those again if I get a proper job…

On the mend

Being poorly is rubbish, being poorly and having to come home from work early and then finding a more poorly person in your bed is worse.  Rigors, temp >39, wearing far too many clothes and talking gibberish.  That was he not me!  We still have no idea what caused that as it seems to have resolved without any focus of infection ever making itself apparent, but it did take me a good few hours of persuasion to get paracetamol and ibuprofen in and 4 layers of clothes off  (“yes I know you feel cold but you are not!”)   Why are boys so reluctant when it comes to treatment?!  Trust me I am an A&E nurse!  (who incidentally feels like C*** and would like to be being looked after herself)   Finally (4 hours later) achieved a normal temperature and got some sleep.  So we both spent yesterday off work which is no where near as fun as it sounds when you feel like poo.  Happily today he is back to work and I feel a whole lot better as well!

Made the bed…

…now to let it settle, let the frosty weather get well and truly out of the way, and then we get start to plant things!  2 tonnes of topsoil, 3 big bags of manure, 3 sacks of vermiculite, 10 buckets of well-rotted home compost and a LOT of shovelling, wheelbarrowing and raking later – the brickwork veg bed is full 🙂

Now to do my homework about how to begin the growing processes…

Growth and progress

Okay no growth as yet in real terms, but the elements required for the beginnings of growth have almost been assembled in the correct alignment. We are building a vegetable bed in the back garden. Ours is a brick structure, raised bed (cos the ground here is literally 3 inches soil over 2 foot of rubble!) and today the topsoil I had ordered arrived. All 2 cubic meters of it! So we now have 2 very large bags of high quality soil, (barely) on the front lawn. Hence tomorrow ASAP begins the process of wheelbarrowing it all into the back garden and layering the stuff with (yet to be obtained and in no particular order) manure, sand and something called vermiculite** (?) before the local pikeys start helping their selves to my nice topsoil from the open container handily plopped right next to the main pavement.

On the progress front, the admindroids at Local General Hospital finally woke up and realised employing me would probably be a mutually good thing, and I now have notification of an interview in a few weeks. Hurrah!

** My subject matter expert says these things need to go in.   She grows good veg.  I trust her.

The Prodigal Post

Blog is back. I don’t really know why I did not want to write since 9 months ago, I guess I just did not feel the need. But since loads has happened and since I also enjoy reading other blogs I have decided to resurrect mine and see whether I continue to make regular submissions for your reading enjoyment and entertainment.

Well, as you would expect, loads of life has occurred between then and now. One single blog is not the place to tell all of it so I expect I will catch it up gradually as and when it seems appropriate.

I am in a very happy place at the moment, mainly thanks to my Lovely One with whom I now share the humble abode. I had no idea, years ago, that life and love could be effortless and happy rather than a constant emotional struggle and distress. What an absolute contrast to things past. We are still in the early days of “Our House” and sorting out the practical side of a joint life, but I know at last where I really belong.

So it all seems to be falling into place bit by bit. Just working on the employment side of things at the moment. Getting Back In to the NHS is proving more hassle than I anticipated but largely that is due to inefficient admin at a certain local hospital. Things are finally getting moving though and all being well I will be part of the South’s best ED nursing team once more in the coming few months 🙂

No widgets here

So I can’t put a funky little box on here for my fundraising page 😦

Nee’mind, here is a clicky link instead:

Kathy & Lisa Race For Life

As myself and my running mate (and green job colleague) will be doing the Southampton Race For Life on Sunday 12th July.

Long time no blog

Oops, sorry.  But y’know sometimes life is too busy happening to sit down and blog about it.  Plus as some others have mentioned, sometimes you need to blog, it can help you retain some sanity or get stuff out of your head, and sometimes… well things are going well and you don’t need it as much 🙂

So what have I been up to?  Well, continuing my itinerant blue job here and there has taken me up to the big smoke for the past few weeks.  It’s been good most of the time, as it is good to see different places and how they work as all have some variations within what is established practice.  There have been a couple of things I have encountered that have made me go “you what??!!” but they have been dealt with appropriately and through the necessary channels.  Sorry to sound vague but the job comes with certain confidentiality aspects as I am sure you understand.

I am back in the saddle with the healthy eating regime again and pleased to report that 6 of my finest pounds have dissapparated this week, yay and hurrah.  Plenty more to go though so no time to get complacent!  Mostly this has been down to my increased activity in preparing for the Welsh 3000s challenge – I have 9 weeks to go.  Having to be careful with what I do as I have been training quite hard and suffering as a result:  my “dodgy” knee has been letting me know that all the running and walking is not unnoticed!!  But I am pleased wiht the new-found enthusiasm I have now and want to hang onto it for dear life.

Green job is taking up more time now, time which the current employment system allows for, and overall I feel much happier and that I am doing it well because I have enough time to commit.  Recently I had the great pleasure of promoting 2 of our guys, which is especially good as they are not only colleagues but good friends.  Always nice to see recognition coming to those who deserve it, and even more being the one to pass it directly to them 😀

I have joined in with Stu’s Tuesday Challenge over the past couple of weeks – having watched Gottle and Omally’s efforts for some time now.  I have to say my limited photography skills could do with significant development!  I hope things will improve with practise and it is fun having a go at the weekly challenge.  Also looking forward to the end of April and upgrading my camera – watch this space…

For now I have to go and prepare for this weekend’s green job manoevres.  Report to follow…

25 random things…

For those of you not on facebook…  I have no idea how to tag people’s blogs though so I can’t do it.  Anyway, here are 25 random things you might not know, about me.

1. I love tea. Some of you already know this. I have several pint-sized tea cups at home and my favourite thing is one of these first thing in the morning to get my started for the day. Ever tried making a pot of tea with one Earl Grey and one standard Tetley bag? Very nice.

2. I have a strange dislike of cupboard doors left ajar, and of my bedroom door being open when I am asleep, even when I have lived alone. My ex husband removed all of the upstairs doors in the house during a short-lived DIY outburst, then later on he left – without ever having put any back up (probably an act of spite, c’est la vie). It was horrible – I had no door on my bedroom for almost a year (am not that DIY capable I’m afraid) until my Dad kindly helped me hang a new one. Still, I have to have doors shut.

3. When I was very small my mother discovered that I was bendy enough to get my big toe in my mouth; much to her amusement, I still can if I so choose.

4. I have lived in the former abodes of both my Nan and my Grandma & Grandad.

5. I am something of a mug-ophile, and have a large collection of mugs of varying sizes (see note 1). This seems to run in my family though, as my sister has a bit of a mug obsession too.

6. I have been a registered nurse for 9 years, mostly working in Accident and Emergency. It has its moments of absolute crap, but then, doesn’t any job? I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I love my job and can’t imagine doing anything else.

7. My favourite season is autumn – I love the colours of the outdoors and the crispness of the air starting to get cold but not quite winter.

8. I get irrationally annoyed at people who press the buttons on pelican crossings and lifts when they are already done – it is not going to make it any quicker so why do you still push it again and again??!!

9. I have never had a “Best” friend but I have 5 close girl friends, all of whom are between 8 and 12 years older than me, but I only recently noticed the age gaps. I do think age is a state of mind and to me it seems we are all the same age.

10. As well as working in the NHS I have also been nursing in the Territorial Army for almost 8 years. My time has included 2 operational tours. I have had some of the best and some of the worst experiences of my life during those times, met some amazing people and done loads of things I never would have done if not for the Army.

11. I cannot stand cooked banana, which is unfortunate as my Mum makes what everyone else says are very nice banana muffins and cakes.

12. Since an incident as a child involving a stomach bug, I can’t stand rice pudding either. Even the smell of it makes me want to puke.

13. I passed both my car driving and motorcycle tests first time.

14. I don’t see any point in having regrets about life, but I do wish I had felt as confident in my 20’s as I do now in my 30’s. Then again, it is often said that our experiences are what make us who we are, and all that has happened over the last 10 years has made me me, with my good and bad bits. I have only recently learnt to have a positive “CAN” attitude rather than a “CAN’T” one, but somewhat sadly, the person who helped me the most with that is someone whom I no longer have contact with. Another thread in life’s rich tapestry eh.

15. I am musical, but my early attempts at music were a little disastrous. At age approx 5, my mother sent me for piano lessons with a lady nearby. I think I lasted about 6 weeks, as I just guessed the notes and didn’t get to grips with it at all. I’m sure she was relieved when I chucked it in. The violin lessons at junior school weren’t much better either. I have however played the clarinet since age 11 (after learning to read music it all went well) and about 3 years ago also took up the saxophone, and regularly still play both.

16. It never ceases to embarrass me how easily I cry at sad films and TV. Or even happy bits of films and TV.

17. When I was about 5 years old I managed to give my sister (who was about 2 at the time) a pulled elbow by trying to haul her up onto a chair by her arm. She got it relocated easily at our GP surgery and was just fine, but I was in bits crying my eyes out as I thought I had permanently damaged her and was going to be in big trouble!

18. I like to think that animals have thoughts and conversation. How do you know they don’t?! This has been a source of exasperation for several friends over the years who tend to think I am just a bit silly. Meh.

19. My mother taught me well about being thrifty, and about financial responsibility. I am grateful to her for this, as it has served me well… even if it does mean I have a bit of an obsession with the freezer… and BOGOFs… but hey – I am the only person I know who didn’t accrue ANY debts going through Uni! (before anyone says anything, it was agency shifts, not any kind of dubious income generating activity that helped that one… I know how some of your minds/senses of humour work!!!)

20. I have been described as living in my own little “pink and fluffy” world, in that I have ideals which I would like to live by. I strongly believe that you get what you give, ergo you need to live with integrity, thought for others, moral standards and respect for people. Just because I may see people appear to get ahead by lying, cheating or stealing, does not mean I should join in. Yes there is a horrible world out there but does being cynical-minded make it any better? Nope.

21. I only have 3 lower incisor teeth as one was removed by my dentist during ‘the orthodontic years’. He did promise me lovely straight teeth by the time I was 19. Well I am almost 32 now, and they are pretty much as crowded and wonky as they ever were, but they are all mine and I don’t care.

22. Once upon a time I fell asleep in a night club. In fact, I have a good ability to nod off pretty much anywhere if I am sleepy. (No I am not narcoleptic!) I also fell asleep in the Hobbit on my send-off night before I mobilised for Iraq, but that had more to do with the ETOH than anything else…

23. Apparently I look younger than my actual age. That is not my own opinion but loads of people say so when they find out my real age. In years to come if this is still the case I will no doubt be grateful, but really I think there are downsides. Put it this way, there is a target audience sector of the population out there who I would like to know I am 32 (nearly) and not 26. Cos it might be important.

24. I’m an emotional person, and over time I have grown to be comfortable with that. For a long time, and courtesy of certain individuals from my past, I felt that it was a negative thing, and hated the fact that I always wear my heart on my sleeve. I do find it very hard to put on any sort of front and pretend I am okay if I am not, but I am a bit better at keeping some things in, at least until its a more appropriate time/place/company to let it all out. I think though that emotion is linked a lot with empathy, and that is a big factor in my job, so I have been able to recognise it as part of my personality and use it positively rather than it being a hindrance.

25. My favourite food of all time is extra mature cheddar cheese. Yum yum yum…

16 and a half weeks to go…

…having discovered that I actually had more weeks in order to train for the Welsh 3000’s challenge than I thought.  Okay, what I really mean is, to begin with I didn’t actually count them I just made a vague reckoning!

So – that training has commenced, I now have a new structured gym programme and a very helpful instructor.  He has agreed I can meet again in 4 weeks as opposed to the usual 6-8 in order to change it if necessary.  I really want to get as prepared as possible, soI think the shorter gaps between reviews will help keep me working hard and progressing up the intensity levels at a good rate.

Not much progress to report on the weight loss front – although I have to admit the old food sense hasn’t been very strict the past few weeks, what with a Burn’s function event with the green job (mmmm, haggis!), and a walking break last weekend – after a 12 mile day of steep coastal walking I did partake of some very fine Cornish Ale (Tribute).  Any fellow real ale lovers out there if you find yourself in a pub down that way then have some – it really is a good ‘un!

A slight change in plans for the next few days means I now have more training opportunity this week than I thought I would, so I guess every cloud has a silver lining 🙂  Not sure that those will be my exact thoughts when I am halfway through the “Navy test” on the treadmill tomorrow, but I shall try to keep going witht the positive mental attitide, as it seems to be all good so far!